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15 Habits That Cause You to Attract Toxic Love (and What to Do Instead)


Everyone yearns for love and many people seek to have a satisfying relationship. However, there are some cases where a relationship can turn toxic. By seeing these warning signs early, you can avoid toxic love and free your mind and heart to attract the love you truly deserve.

While the toxic person in the relationship is the one who exhibits negative behavior, there may be some habits that you need to break in order to protect yourself from the danger of the relationship.

“There are those whose main skill is spinning manipulation wheels. It’s their second skin and without these caster wheels, they just don’t know how to operate. “~C. JoyBell C

These fifteen things can attract toxic love into your life

Here are 15 habits they are making you attract toxic love.

1. Does not indicate changes in behavior

One of the warning signs to watch out for is your partner’s behavior. When someone is trying to manipulate you, they can be nice and charming until they get what they want from you. Observe your partner and see if he still shows affection after a disagreement or once you do not comply with his requests.

Don’t make excuses for your partner’s actions if he stops talking to you for long periods of time or starts talking harshly every time you express your opinion or if he doesn’t live up to his expectations, no matter how small. Make your observations known and make it clear that you don’t appreciate being manipulated.

2. You allow people to play mind games with you

Some people are so desperate for a relationship that they accept toxic love in the form of mind games. You may not realize that your manipulative partner is trying to play with your mind and how you view reality. However, if you find that your partner begins to omit details when explaining things to you or twists the truth when they are cornered, try to make yourself think that you are crazy.

In an article in Psychology Today, Preston Ni, MSBA explains that this tactic intentionally balances power in any relationship.

This manipulation is a control tactic that toxic people try to use to avoid apologizing or acknowledging unhealthy behavior. Ignoring these mind games is just one of the bad habits that will attract toxic people.

3. You allow your partner to control the relationship

Over time, your partner may not be satisfied unless you are in control. This is not healthy for a relationship, as you are supposed to work together to achieve wholeness in your union and in various parts of your life.

While it’s normal to let your partner be the center of attention sometimes, especially when celebrating a special moment in their lives, your partner can be toxic if he always finds a way to focus on her, even when it should be on you.

If your partner always feels like they know what’s best for you and has a tantrum at any time, you don’t want to do things their way. If you feel like you can never win with your partner, you are probably dealing with a controlling person.

4. You don’t criticize your partner for not being trustworthy.

When you feel like you can’t depend on your partner, you may be experiencing toxic love. Don’t focus so much on being in a relationship as to excuse your partner’s behavior when he doesn’t show up for you. If your partner never “has time” to do you favors, but expects you to comply with all his wishes or not attend events that are important to you, this could be a sign that he is trying to get you to beg. your attention.

While it is natural to forget something your partner has asked you to do from time to time, you should not accept this excuse every time your partner proves to be untrustworthy.

5. You stay in relationships longer than you should

You may feel that if you have been with your partner for a long time, you must stay in the relationship because you are invested. If your partner feels this and is toxic, they may continue to verbally abuse or manipulate you, as they know that you will not end the relationship.

After all, if you have children together and share a home and finances, it is more difficult to break free. In some cases, toxic partners will break up with you. Once they see that you have finally accepted the end of the relationship, they will rekindle things, putting you in an unhealthy relationship cycle.

6. You change who you are

Relationships are all about commitment, but you shouldn’t become a different person just because you have a partner. You want someone who loves you for who you are, and if you want to avoid attracting toxic love, you can change who you are only for the sake of a relationship.

The right person will appreciate your authenticity and help you grow mentally and spiritually.

7. You give too much

One of the red flags to look for when entering a relationship is a person who expects you to give your all. It is important to share and be open in a relationship, but your partner should do the same.

If you are always the one who has to give in and your partner is never willing to give in, chances are you are dealing with a manipulator. So set those limits and don’t feel guilty about doing it.

8. You try too hard to protect yourself

If you’ve been in a toxic relationship before, you may be very cautious in your dealings with others. You may appear arrogant or closed before you are afraid of being hurt again. Toxic people can feel this and will often haunt you so that you can feel even worse about yourself.

It is important to take time to recover before entering into another relationship so that you can be wise without emitting unwanted energy.

9. You are afraid to tell the truth

To have a satisfying and loving connection, you must be honest with your partner. If you are afraid to tell the truth, because you are afraid that your partner is violent or unwilling to listen to you, this is one of the warning signs that you may be in a toxic relationship.

Even if your partner is irritated by what you have to say, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up.

10. You let your partner complain too much

A report in Psych Central warns

“Over time, chronic complaints will destroy almost any relationship.”

When you do something nice for your partner or make a special effort to ensure their happiness, it is wonderful to expect them to be grateful.

When you work hard to make your relationship enjoyable, you shouldn’t allow your partner to constantly criticize you and make you feel like you can’t do anything right. After all, your partner should make you feel better about yourself, not worse.

11. You accept your partner’s guilt

Do you find that you accept blame for your partner’s actions? According to Christine Carter, Ph.D. with the University of California Berkeley, you should definitely keep an eye out for this red flag. You may be very afraid that your partner will leave if you have to be responsible for your actions. This can cause you to excuse unacceptable things.

If you take responsibility for your mistakes, your partner should too.

12. You have lost your passion for life

If previous lovers or family members ridiculed you for the things you are passionate Above, you can try to suppress these things when you start a new relationship. Being in a toxic relationship can cause you to ignore the things that are important to you.

You must regain your love for hobbies and the causes that make you who you are; it will remind you that you are unique and should be treated with care.

13. You seem to always seek approval

We all want our partners to understand and connect with us on a deep, mental and intimate level. However, it would be helpful if you weren’t always seeking approval from others, including your partner. When a toxic person knows that you crave their approval, they will abuse you mentally and verbally to feel powerful.

Strive to be sure of who you are so you don’t attract toxic people.

14. You have no faith in yourself

When you don’t believe that you are a wonderful person with great things to offer the world, you are more likely to remain in an unhealthy situation. relationship. When you have confidence in yourself, which is the ability to accept and improve your flaws, show the best parts of who you are, you can attract confident people and feel when someone does not mean well.

15. You are afraid of being alone

If you are a person who thrives on the idea of ​​being with someone, this could be one of the bad habits that keep connecting you to toxic love.

We all have a natural desire for connection, but you should feel comfortable being only. This will teach you valuable things about who you are and what you need in a relationship. Spending quality time alone also helps you be honest about what you can give your partner.

Final thoughts: your habits can attract toxic love

There are several signs that point to toxic love in your relationship. If you’re always trying to excuse your partner’s bad behavior, or find that you’re always attracting people who don’t have your best interests in mind, keep these red flags in mind to avoid unhealthy relationships in the future. You will find that you have more peace of mind and you will eventually attract the satisfying relationship you want.


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