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Emotional cheating is common, but why not trigger the outburst of fire caused by catching someone in an act of infidelity? Today’s society is engrossed in texting and social media, and it is very easy to “fall in love” with someone without even meeting them in person.
When someone chooses to step outside the boundaries of a relationship and have a physical connection, they may blame alcohol, drugs, or even a poor judgment. However, when you are involved in an emotional affair, then it is done by choice. You can have sex without involving your emotions, but when you bring your heart and soul to someone, the connection is quite different.
To be guilty of emotional cheating, you must nurture a relationship for weeks or months. The feelings you experience in an emotional situation are much deeper than those of a physical attraction. Some might say that these feelings are stronger because they are rooted in the heart and not in a cheap motel bed.
What is emotional cheating?
Keep in mind that for there to be cheating in the emotional realms, there must be the following:
- An established emotional connection
- The secret of each other
- An element of eroticism
Having close friends is always good, but it is difficult to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a committed relationship. Do you have something on your phone that you hide from your spouse? Perhaps, you are dreaming of kissing and hugging this person you talk to every day.
When you start to develop feelings like this and want to be more than just friends, the relationship has moved from being friends to the territory of emotional traps.
Signs of an emotionally unfaithful partner
How does a person know if they have a partner who is cheating on them emotionally? What signs do you look for and when do you face them? Here are some signs to look for that can help you.
1. Cell phone protection
One of the first signs that someone is emotionally involved with another is the secret of the cell phone. If your partner always left his phone in plain sight and is now keeping it with his life, then it is a sign that he is hiding something. The cell phone is almost always the key to knowing what is really going on with your spouse.
2. You are no longer around
Does it seem like the person is always talking in secret or is hiding in corners texting? When it’s time for dinner, they prefer to be on their phone or running errands all the time. When a person is cheating on you emotionally, they will turn away from you.
3. Nature reserved
When someone is doing something wrong, try to be very secretive about their actions. They may stay up late at work, have mysterious meetings at all hours, or have other excuses because they want to be away from home. It is important to note that this occurred when it was not common before.
4. They know a lot about this friend
An important indication that someone is cheating emotionally is that they seem to always be talking about a “friend.” They mention this person for the smallest things, and they seem to know a lot about them. If you ask them a question about their “friend,” they will be eager to answer.
Watch their faces as they talk about them. If they are radiant, it is a sign of a problem.
5. Super defensive
Do they get very defensive when you ask them about their whereabouts, cell phone use, or mysterious meetings at work? If there is no reason for them to defend their actions, why are they acting this way with you? A defensive nature is always a red flag.
6. Lack of privacy
A significant sign that something is wrong in a relationship is a lack of intimacy. It is because they are dreaming or thinking of another person. Just because emotional cheating doesn’t involve intimacy doesn’t mean they don’t fantasize about it.
When confronted with them, your guilty conscience may try to appease your physical needs so that you are no longer suspicious. If things are bad in the bedroom, then it is cause for concern.
7. They don’t share his life
If you’ve always had good communication and enjoyed talking about boring everyday things, it can be a bad sign. stop talking. The reason they don’t want to share so much with you is because they fear to stumble and say the wrong thing, or they can’t think of anything but this other person.
Also, if they give frivolous answers to questions, you ask them, like “I’m fine”, “whatever” I’m fine “then you know something is wrong.
8. You are no longer important
It doesn’t matter if your spouse is having a physical or emotional affair, it takes a lot of energy. While you feel less important, it’s just that your mind is preoccupied. According to Financing for health research, more than 60 percent of all love affairs occur at work, and 56 percent of those people are happy in their marriage.
Chances are, even if you get out of the relationship because of your emotional needs, it is just a fleeting affair. They will soon return and realize the error of their ways, or at least 31 percent will.
9. They choose fights
You may notice that the cheating spouse likes to fight with you. They feel very guilty about the situation, but they want to have a reason to blame you for what they are doing.
For example, they may start to criticize smaller infractions simply because they want a reason to get out of the house and meet their friend for coffee. They are using you as an excuse, so don’t fall into this trap.
10. Everything is your fault
Someone caught red-handed likes to turn others around for fear of getting into trouble. If you choose to confront him for his behavior, he may try to blame him and act like you are cheating on him. The term is called gaslighting, and it’s where you try to make everyone else take the blame for your actions.
Be very careful if your spouse starts using psychological tricks like this. They can be dangerous and cause mental damage if you continue down this path with them.
How to handle an emotionally unfaithful spouse
Always trust your intuition, as instincts are very powerful and generally correct. You think your partner is having an emotional affair, now what?
• Gather your evidence
Before you start launching accusations at your spouse, you must first gather any evidence. Do some research and you will be surprised what you find. Never go into an argument without documentation, as instincts are not enough to bring the matter out into the open.
• Confront them
When you start the conversation to confront them about their evidence or suspicions, you should ask them things like:
- Are you happy in our relationship?
- Is something wrong between us?
- Do you still love me and want to be with me?
By asking important questions like these, you are putting them in jeopardy. You are not necessarily asking them about the emotional issue, but you are asking them how they feel about you. You need to know what they think of you if you want to continue this relationship once things come to light.
• Get advice
If he opens your heart and tells you how he feels about someone else, you may be able to save the marriage. However, don’t trust them to tell you the truth, as they have already been dishonest to you. It’s time to seek professional help to get to the root of your problems.
There is a reason they looked outside the union for their emotional needs, and this problem must be addressed.
Final thoughts on emotional matters
If you see any of these red flags above and you think your spouse is cheating on you emotionally, then you need to confront them. The more you let the situation continue, the worse you will feel. You need a solution to the problem.
Just because you are having an emotional affair does not always justify a breakup or divorce. It all comes down to your personal beliefs regarding this type of behavior and the rules you have set in your relationship. Some people feel that this behavior is wrong, but they do not believe that it is a basis for ending their connection.
the National Library of Medicine made reference to a study on this subject carried out by a university in Northern Ireland. They found that women were more upset about emotional infidelity than men. Men are more bothered by physical interactions than emotional ones.
So the place you go after this disorder will be between the two of you. Just remember that there may be some trust issues down the road, even if it wasn’t a physical matter.
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