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Abuse comes in many forms. A person can be the victim of physical, sexual or emotional abuse, and there is no better or worse type than another. While the assault of a physical or sexual assault can lead to pain and defects in the body, words of emotional abuse can linger in your psyche for a lifetime.
The statistics paint a bleak picture in this country, especially since there are more than 5.3 million incidents reported of domestic violence every year. Sadly, most cases of abuse are perpetrated by intimate partners, making people more likely to hide the ordeal. When it comes to emotional abuse, it is hard to calculate, as many suffer in silence.
Getting caught in a cycle of abuse is often scary, and most people don’t know how to escape. They are trapped in a vortex because, and in most cases, the perpetrator is a lover or close relative. If they came forward and asked for help, it would mean getting their loved one in trouble, but they need help to get out of this. toxic relationship.
Red flags of those who are silently abused
How do you know if someone is abused? How can you reach out and help someone who acts like you’re always exaggerating? Those who are silently abused need someone who can help them, but they often don’t want their help.
They will often wait until things get out of hand before telling someone. Fortunately, there are ways to know that someone is being abused in silence and needs your intervention.
1. They have unexplained bruises / cuts
One of the hallmarks of physical abuse is unexplained bruises and cuts on the body. They can wear clothing that covers much of their physique, even when the temperatures are scorching outside. They may wince when trying to sit or move in specific ways.
Black eyes are not uncommon for the person who is silently abused. They can wear sunglasses or have a lot of makeup around their eyes, trying to cover up any marks. With each attack, the person sinks deeper into a shell while praying for the abuse to end, but does not know how to get out of this situation.
If you ask questions about the abuse, they may make fun of your opinions or laugh at what you say. They will protect and defend the person they love for as long as possible, although deep down many fear for their life.
2. They miss work and social commitments
When you are being abused, you hardly feel like getting out of bed every day. The average person will miss 137 hours per year due to abuse, however, many simply think they have medical problems.
When faced with their constant absences, they make rude comments or downplay events. Still, the empty seat at the table or desk where they sit is undeniable. These people do not listen to reasons and will not get help until they are ready.
Whether due to physical or emotional abuse, this person does not know how to get out of the cyclone that has captured them. The perpetrator often goes from buying gifts to attacking them, wreaking havoc on emotions. In addition, someone who is verbally assaulted often feels guilty for leaving home, as the perpetrator fears that someone will find out.
3. Your self-esteem plummets
It’s hard to stay positive and optimistic when someone tells you how horrible you are or how ugly you have become. The root of many cases of verbal abuse is jealousy. It is not uncommon for men or women to feel that their spouse might go away and find someone new.
So they try to undermine their self-esteem so as not to leave. At the core of this problem is a low self-esteem bully who feels he is not good enough. However, they project this feeling onto their partner.
This person may become agitated or nervous when their spouse goes out into town for fear of finding someone better. They may also be continually accusing their lover of cheating. The problem with verbal abuse is that it almost always becomes physical, a double whammy for the victim.
4. Unexplained weight loss
When there is an emotional war inside, many people do not eat. How can you eat when your world is falling apart? A person who is repeatedly told how ugly she is may want to lose weight to stop the abuse by improving her appearance.
If a person is not dieting or exercising or does not need to lose weight, but there is a noticeable loss, then it could be a case of silent abuse.
5. Depression and anxiety
Whether the abuse was a one-time or ongoing event, it can leave lasting mental damage. It’s easy to slip into depression or have anxiety attacks when these mental health issues didn’t exist before. They suffer in silence, and emotional turmoil can be damaging.
In fact, they want to tell it, but fear the repercussions. They may have been threatened that if they tell someone they love, their pets could get hurt. A manipulator will use all possible tactics to keep things secret.
Rude comments made to this person often lead to a place of depression. They may become anxious because they fear when the next verbal attack or physical assault will occur. Without proper treatment, this person may collapse completely and require hospitalization.
6. Frequent trips to the emergency room or doctor
As things progress towards abuse, they may go to the hospital for fractures or other major bodily harm. It is essential to be aware of the timeline of new bruises and cuts and when to seek help.
Many victims of a toxic relationship they will wait a few days to heal a bit, hoping they will not be questioned about the abuse. Their stories will get more outlandish as they try to cover up the truth. They will retract acclamations for falls down stairs, accidents in the kitchen or encounters with animals.
With every story and every trip to the ER, staff, friends, and family begin to question what is going on with this person. However, they do not listen to solid reasons and continue to hide behind their abuser with each confrontation.
7. Your partner makes horrible comments in front of others
If you are close to both parties, you may notice that the abuser is always digging to lower the other person’s self-esteem. Verbal abuse can escalate to the point where it is dealt with in front of others.
The real problem is that the perpetrator has low self-esteem and could have an underlying mental illness. There is something wrong within them that prompts them to act this way.
They could have suffered from a horrible childhood, since many abused become abusers. These learned behavior patterns are not always easy to break.
Final thoughts: helping someone who is in a toxic relationship
If you fear that your friend or loved one is being abused, you must act. The only problem is that they look a lot like drug addicts in the sense of getting help; they won’t get help until they’re ready. However, here are some things you can do to help.
•Ask questions
While the last thing an abused person wants is to be asked questions, it is essential to know what is happening. Even if they don’t like it, ask if you see any unexplained bruises and cuts on their body.
• Suggest help
There are treatment centers and programs across the country that will help both men and women who are caught in abusive relationships. Do some research and find some places that quietly help the abused in your area. If necessary, this person can hide until the authorities have handled the perpetrator.
• Organize an intervention
If all your advances in seeking help have fallen on deaf ears, you may need to organize an intervention. Some professionals help with such an event as they are trained and know how to do things correctly. Gathering family and friends and showing support can be especially important before this person agrees to help.
• Call the police
If you feel that your friend or family member is in immediate danger, you should call the police for help. The last thing you want to do is get involved in a bad situation that could be deadly for anyone involved. Let the authorities handle the problem and they may get the necessary resolution.
The number of quietly abused people in this country continues to rise. While most people suffer at the hands of someone they know, there are also random cases or acts that can be simply disturbing. It is essential to be aware of the signs and indications of silent abuse; then you must know when to act.
Always give your friend time and space to properly handle the situation, but if it turns into a dangerous situation, be prepared to intervene on their behalf.
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