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How Can You Spot a Narcissist? Here Are 12 Revealing Behaviors


Do you know how to spot a narcissist? As you navigate through life, learning to identify this manipulative person is of the utmost importance. The last thing you need to do is get involved with someone who has more trouble than a math book and treats you horribly.

Sure, they are all lovely and say the right things at first. However, don’t get too comfortable with her charm and charisma because this ruse can only last so long. They don’t want to be with you for anything other than to promote their agenda.

NarcisisYou don’t have good relationships with people, and some might say that these manipulators have an expiration date. They can only be good for so long, and once people discover their true colors, they will move on to their next victim. It’s what movies are made of, but you have to make sure no one writes a script about the horrors in your life.

To spot a narcissist, you must first understand the mindset

Before you know how to spot a narcissist, you need to understand the driving force behind this person. In most cases, these individuals became manipulative because something happened to them that changed their view of the world around them and of themselves. They could be victims of abuse or have been involved in trauma.

They have developed a “I’ll get them before they get me” kind of attitude. All the behaviors you see coming from the manipulator are just an effort to ease your bruised self-esteem. While they may love themselves more than anyone else, the truth is that they have exceptionally low self-esteem.

Now when you hook up with someone like that in the dating world, you’ll probably be instantly drawn to them. You see, they’ve perfected their game and they know the right things to say and do to put your hands on putty. Due to his keen manipulative abilities, you must be on your guard.

How to identify a narcissist through revealing behaviors

If you want to protect yourself from friends or love interests who are manipulative, you need to learn common red flags. Here are ten ways to spot a narcissist so you can avoid getting involved in their drama.

1. They are bigger and better than you

Have you ever met someone who always has to get over you? These individuals can never allow anyone to have something better than them, as this hurts their pride. If you got a raise at your job, they have already had two raises. They always seem to have the right words to say that they make you feel less than to make you feel greater than.

2. They flock to the vulnerable

Do you remember the classic tale of The Three Little Pigs? The big bad wolf was going to huff and puff and blow up the pig house. The pigs had houses made of hay, sticks, and bricks. The first two pigs couldn’t stand up to the wolf, but the third pig had a substantial home and was safe enough to save the others.

The wolf immediately went to the pigs whose houses were the most vulnerable. The selfish man seeks the same things when he is on the prowl. They want the person who is an easy target so they can advance their agenda.

Since they are unable to have meaningful relationships, they will use it to gain finances, notoriety, or to satisfy their sexual desires. One of his classic behaviors is to look for vulnerable people who have been unlucky in love or who have just been through a difficult time and need a shoulder to lean on.

3. They dominate the conversation

The fine art of conversation is a skill that doesn’t develop overnight. It takes time to cultivate the ability to converse back and forth without talking to each other. However, if you want to spot a narcissist, they are the person who constantly talks about you and interrupts you so that you can’t get a word into the conversation.

You may find that trying to talk to this person is impossible because they will not let you.

4. They are loud and proud

You’d think a manipulator would be quiet and unassuming, but the self-centered person often tends to be loud and vibrant. They want all eyes on them instead of cowering in a corner. True to their personality, they would rather be the life of the party.

5. They withdraw from conversations about family and friends

If you want to have a problem with any manipulator, talk about relationships. These individuals rarely have a large inner circle because they alienate so many people along the way. Even the relatives want nothing to do with them because their manipulative ways have burned them.

If you want to see a egocentric person with relationship problems, start asking them about their family and friends and see how they act.

6. They are very reserved

A narcissist keeps many secrets and does not want you to meddle in his affairs. This person will often keep your phone locked tighter than Fort Knox, and will be very intrusive when talking on the phone or texting. Unfortunately, you may not be the only person they are trying to use.

7. They look down on you

Once the manipulator has you in their clutches, they will start to disappoint the charming facade that attracted you. One way they will try to control you is by putting you down. Is a classic manipulation tactic that is geared toward getting you to do what they want.

Never let someone put you down or insult you, no matter how charming they seem. You are worth more than that and you don’t need that kind of pain in your life. They will destroy you mentally and make you think that you can’t do anything right.

8. They keep track of your every move

Remember, a selfish person is very afraid of losing their possessions, even people. If you live with this person, you may insist on security system cameras in most rooms, as well as cell phone trackers. Sure, they’ll use the ruse that it’s for your safety, but they want to keep an eye on what you’re doing.

9. They take you away from your family and friends

If you don’t see through the games, they are playing and they are sure their family and friends will. Therefore, they will do everything in their power to be your only one.

They don’t want you to date others who might yell at their manipulative ways. The more people you are around, the greater the risk that your house of cards will collapse.

10. “Take” often, “Give” little

The hard part for good, honest people to understand is that this person is using them. They make it look like the two of you are a match made in heaven, but they are only using you. Narcissists want to get everything they can from you, but don’t expect them to give you anything in return.

They want their money, time, attention, and you to come running when a crisis strikes. However, when you need them, they are conveniently not available. They are the owners of unilateral relationships.

11. They boast a lot

You can’t ignore the self-inflated opinions of your life. They want everyone to know how powerful, rich, and successful they have become. They will speak of all their wealth and achievements and appoint the entire upper class to their ranks.

It is quite annoying to talk to this person because he makes himself seem so tall and powerful that you will feel inferior to him.

12. They lie

One of the ways you can spot a narcissist is that their stories don’t add up. They have a lot of bulls that they feed people, but if you dig into their lives, you will find that most of what they have is made up. Sure, there may be some truths mixed in with the lies, but most of what you hear is pure rubbish.

These individuals are often pathological or habitual liars.

Final thoughts on how to spot a narcissist

If you’ve ever seen any of those made-for-TV movies about relationships gone wrong, then you know about narcissistic behaviors. Perhaps you have experienced a manipulator in your personal life and you know the pain they leave behind. It would be helpful if you remembered that this person is devastated beyond what you can see and needs in-depth psychological help.

Never think that you can fix them or be the love that changes their ways, as most of the time, you will be another victim in their wallet. You must know how to spot narcissists in order to protect yourself from all the pain and psychological damage that comes along with this master manipulator.


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